‘No really…it’s not scary..’ ‘Or is it..?’
Posted on | September 28, 2009 | 2 Comments
As I wrote in a previous post, dealing with ’stage fright’ is on the top of my list. Not that there is a list. There is just that, actually. And one after getting used to practice outside -I say practice, ’cause I don’t mean perform- it was time to move on to more scary pastures. Practicing in public.
So on a bright and sunny Monday afternoon, I set out to go and do just that. Location? A public park nearby. Mission? Go about my usual practice routine, trying to be unimpressed, and not so self conscious with the fact that there was a great chance that people, other people then myself, where going to hear it.
Whilst walking through the park, looking for a place to play, I tried to free myself of the feeling that I was walking to the gallows. It’s supposed to be fun, after all. I had great benefit of my experience in meditation, and walking around for a while, feeling the wind brushing my cheeks and ruffle my hair, I’d become an observer of the situation again, rather than the ‘victim’. I set down on a bench, enjoyed the fact that I was actually going to do this, and started practice. I did my exercises to loosen up my hands and fingers, and then after about thirty minutes, I started to play some instrumental songs.
The first jogger appeared on the horizon. As he approached, the lump in my stomach tilted it’s three heads and watched with interest how I stopped playing until after the jogger had passed. ‘That’s no good’, I thought. So, when the next passer by showed up, I kept playing, focusing on what I was doing. The moment came, and went. There I was, alone again, surrounded by wonderful woods, and tjirping of birds. This went on for a while, and after a while I could play, untouched by the fact that people kept passing by, some of ‘m stopping because their dog had found an interesting bug to chase, and some of ‘m because they, well, seem to like what they heard.
To say it was a jubilant experience, would be an understatement. I returned home after an hour and a half, feeling like I just conquered the lost world. I kept feeling like that for days on end, and when the feeling subsided, I went out to do it all over again. In the weeks that followed, I searched for more spots to practice in public. Most of ‘m are parks, or in nature. But I keep picking spots that I know someone will pass. Or sit on the same row of benches.
There is one thing though. Although me and the lump in my stomach are on relatively good, and speaking terms now, it’s still too much of a factor. When I tried singing the first time, I was barely whispering. Have you ever tried singing on an very full stomach? Or while you’re a bit tensed? Not a nice a feeling, and equally important, not so nice to listen to. If anything, the guitar will dominate the voice in terms of strength. It’s a first though. Someone playing guitar who’s miming the lyrics, for the audiences’ convenience :-) Getting to grips with singing will be the next hurdle!
Comments
2 Responses to “‘No really…it’s not scary..’ ‘Or is it..?’”
Leave a Reply
Nanowrimo!
Recent Writings
Blog Categories
Pages
Archives
The Search Thing
The Rss Thing
The Twitter Thing
Flickr Feed
October 13th, 2009 @ 1:42 am
This reminds me of when I first started busking. Finding the confidence to lay yourself on the line in front of thousands of people in a park or street for the first time takes a lot of guts. It will tear your nerves to shreds. Once you’ll get used to playing in the quieter places, you can up the stakes and move into town.
October 13th, 2009 @ 6:29 am
Hi Kier,
Well, I think I’m on a good start! It’s definitely fun, but the nerves are… well the nerves are the nerves. I’ve good faith that in time I’ll master them! Thanks a lot for the encouragement! I really appreciate it!
Cheers,
Guido